Protecting Your Kids (online, etc)

Wow, I need to get back to work on my blog. If you're one of the few that still check it from time to time, thanks! I'll try to do better.

For now... read this!! It's by Tim Stevens and it's soooo important.

ok, so copying this post has not gone well... skip over to Tim's blog and read it there

If You Don’t Protect Your Kids in the Digital World–Who Will?

by Tim Stevens

Our kids are growing up in a different world. Here are a few things we do (or have done) to keep our kids safe…

• Internet filtering – Curiosity killed the cat and can do great harm to kids as well. We have used different products to filter and monitor our kids internet activities. Monitoring tells us where they are going. Filtering keeps bad stuff away that could hurt them. Currently we are using Family Safety which is a free add-on product that we have loaded on every computer they access. Not only can we restrict sites based on ourvalues–we can also monitor what sites are capturing their attention. And we can change (ease) these restrictions as they get older.
• Computer game time — on a school day, they get 30 minutes of electronic game time (whether computer, Wii, Xbox, iPod, whatever). On non-school days, they get an hour. This limit forces them (mostly the boys) to find other things to do. They all love reading, and I think that is partially because we haven’t allowed their time to be monopolized by staring at a screen.
• Cell Phone privileges - we didn’t get cell phones for our teens until they were in 9th grade. Why then? Because that is when it became inconvenient to us that they didn’t have one. It was never really a safety issue–in middle school there was always a friend nearby who had a phone they could borrow.
• Cell Phone Limits – this is about helping them stay in the present and not always being pulled away into other conversations. Our cell phones have unlimited text messaging, but we actually pay an additional fee (called “Smart Limits” by AT&T) to limit the number of text messages and the time of day it works for phone calls (other than to us, of course).
• iPod Touch restrictions – our 7th grade son saved his money for a long time until he was able to buy an iPod Touch. The first thing I did was took it, enabled the “restrictions” feature, locked it out from Safari (internet surfing) and YouTube, set a password, and gave it back to him. I don’t need my adolescent son walking around with a pocket full of temptation.
• Email monitoring - when they first got email privileges, I restricted their incoming messages to an approved list to protect them from child predators. After awhile, I lifted that restriction but continued to monitor all their incoming and outgoing email. As the teens are getting older and more responsible, I’ve gone from 1) Monitor everything, to 2) Monitor occasionally, to 3) “You know I can monitor it if I want,” to 4) I trust you.
• Facebook monitoring – similar to email, we monitored all of their Facebook activity when they first began using it (around 8th grade). Then it was “as needed.”
• TV time — the biggest blessing to parents has been the invention of the DVR (or TIVO). Our kids don’t channel surf. There is no reason. We just keep the DVR stacked with shows that won’t hurt their hearts (which, of course, changes as they age). They get a limited time to watch, and when they do they can skip commercials (which saves time AND limits the consumer mentality from taking over). Parents: Think of a DVR as a parenting tool, not a tech gadget.

I haven’t even talked about the content of movies or shows, but the bottom line: You are the parent. If you don’t protect them from the digital world, who will? At the same time, if you don’t prepare them to live in a digital world without your oversight, who will? I am constantly doing the countdown: I know I have 17 months left to prepare Heather to totally stand on her own in the world. So we are constantly reevaluating our limits and lifting them as she is ready. It’s fun to go to the kids and say, “You’ve been doing great, making good choices. I’m going to ease the restriction in this area because I think you can handle it now.”

Parenting isn’t an exact science, so what would you add or change?

Book Review: Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham

Bottom Line: I liked it and my wife liked it.

Important footnote to be placed somewhere above the bottom line: It may not be the revolutionary solution to all your problems as a wife and mother.

A few years back I picked up a copy of Marcus Buckingham's Now, Discover Your Strengths. Loved it. Took the Strenth Finders Online test and got a pretty good look at the themes in my life that are potential strengths.

So when Thomas Nelson contacted me about reviewing Find Your Strongest Life, I was definitely interested. I got the book in the mail and an odd thing happened. My wife Tricia picked up the book before I got a chance to, and read the intro and the first few chapters. She brought it to me, impressed by the info she gleaned just from those first few pages.

Buckingham's basic tenet is that women can draw enough strength from life to feel fulfilled, loved, successful, and in control. He states that the SIGNs of a strong life (mind the acrostic) are:

1. Successful
2. Instinctively looking forward to tomorrow
3. Growing and learning
4. Needs fulfilled

Here is Marcus Buckingham talking about the book:

Overall, Buckingham echoes the lesson learned in his previous books which is: Focus on your strengths -- the things you do well, easily and that make you glad you did them -- and you'll be happier and more successful. This makes an incredible amount of sense when we're talking about a work environment. I'm just not sure that it can always be that simple when speaking to the non-negotiable requirements of motherhood.

Still the principles are solid and will benefit the working wife and mother who can put them into play in her life. This book is definitely for the woman who is frustrated by her attempts to juggle career, family, marriage, and her other relationships and responsibilities. For the older CEO-type whose kids are already out of the nest... skip this and go read Now, Discover Your Strengths.

Job update plus links for catching up

I'm letting people know about some news going on in our lives and of course it becomes obvious that many people have no idea where we are right now! =) So if you have any interest in what's going on for the Reeves family right now, try reading these 3 posts... they should bring you up to speed.

1. First mention
2. Big News
3. Early Update

Beyond that, we got some great news today... Tricia applied for the one and only job opening in the Norwalk school system--a 6-12 Gifted position. She interviewed for it this morning and we found out this afternoon that she got the job. AWESOME!! We are very excited!

I wish I could say that I'm surprised, but if you know Tricia, you know that she is not only one of the best teachers you'll ever meet, but she's the person you want on your team. She adds value to every thing she's a part of, and I'm very blessed to be her husband!

When I asked for prayers on Twitter this morning, many of you prayed and I humbly thank you. There were so many reasons why she might not get picked for this position, and yet she was anyway and we believe that it's our God making a way for us and confirming his calling of our family to Norwalk/Des Moines and to Crossroads Church.

It's definitely bittersweet to leave behind Illinois, (just as it was hard to leave Birmingham and Lanett/West Point) but we know that we still have awesome family all over the U.S. and are now able to add to that. So excited about serving at Crossroads. So excited that God is blessing my family. So excited to serve alongside PG and the rest of Crossroads' awesome staff.

Can't wait to see what the future holds!

Ministry Opportunity

Hey blog friends, I want to let you know about a ministry opportunity that is a possibility for me and my family. A church in Iowa has interviewed me to be their Pastor of Congregational Development, which would include oversight over Spiritual Gifts Development, Leadership Development, Community Group Development, First Impressions and Worship Arts. Quite an extensive list, eh? Those of you who know me well probably realize that this looks like a list patterned after my deepest desires. Throw in a little preaching and I'm in hog heaven!

Perhaps the best thing about the position would be serving with a man that I consider to be a great friend, although I've known him less than four months. Do you ever meet someone and just "click?" That what happened with this pastor and me, and it wasn't just me... Tricia loves him and his wife (and the Ryan-ster) as much as I do. All in all, very exciting!

Here's where you come in...

More than anything else in this world, I want to serve my God 100%. For me that starts with my own relationship to Him as his child. Next it shows in how I love my wife and my kids (in that order!). And third, but definitely right up there, is my calling to serve him as a pastor. I've pledged my life to serve Him, especially by equipping His people and building His Church. To do that best, I want to be exactly where He wants me to be. I'd rather be called by God to sit in a box on the side of the road, than to occupy the highest pulpit in the land, but be there without His spirit.

My God has been faithful to always open the right doors and close the right doors... always for His glory, not mine. If you love me, this is what I want you to do:

Pray for God's leading in my heart, and in the heart of those who are selecting the man for this position. I believe that we are being called there by God's holy spirit and I hope that is the search teams conclusion as well, but I only want to go if it is the will of God. Is this where He wants me?

Will you pray? Nothing bad will happen to you if you don't pray (and you won't receive good luck if you forward this to 10 friends in the next 10 minutes...man I hate those chain-letter emails!) but I'd really appreciate a few more people asking the Lord of Creation to answer as He sees fit.

Thanks! I'm taking a little trip to meet with the search team and do a little worship leading in early December.

I love you guys! I'm glad to have you as family.

Corbett

Successful Surgery

My son, Will had to have a bit of surgery yesterday (10/23). Not much fun watching your kids put to sleep, but everything went as well as it could have and he should have no more issues. Thanks for all of the prayers! It means a lot to Tricia and I that so many of you remembered us and lifted Will up to God for protection. And if you didn't know, don't feel bad...we didn't really advertise that it was happening.



But he did great. Here's a phone pic I snapped as he lay recovering afterward. That's popsicle number 2.







He'll just be laying around for a few days, so I'm looking forward to some extended Star Wars Lego action.

I'm so thankful to God for his protection.

Pumpkin Thoughts

It's obviously Pumpkin Time around the Reeves house...




And as the weather gets colder, I'm praying that our family will draw closer. My new job is a great opportunity for me to be able to have an impact on some lives that are desperate for it. But it has a very serious drawback. My most common shift is from 3p - 11:30p...not the best shift to draw when your kids are in school and your wife works days.

So what do you do? Since I no longer get the quantity that I'm used to, I have to make the most of every moment I have. Here's what that looks like...

• It's generally my job to wake the kids up about 6:30a. Now that routine often involves crawling into bed with them for some "snugglin" before I give piggy-back rides down to breakfast.
• I love to play xbox and blog/read blogs. I don't do either of those when my kids are home (or watch TV) unless I'm playing or watching with them.
• I take special pains to remain calm and have fun with them, even while getting ready for school (often very hectic time) because now there are no "throw-away moments." Every minute I spend with them, whether I'm making breakfast or they're brushing their teeth, is a big percentage of the time I get to spend with them daily. There is no time to waste.
• An afternoon off is something to celebrate. Yesterday, my son came home from kindergarten singing some "restaurant song" that mentioned Red Lobster. So where did the Reeves family spontaneously go for dinner?
  
• An evening at home is something to treasure. I don't often get to see my kids off to bed anymore, so where we used to just "say our prayers," now I take it as a special privilege to really pray over my kids. More than ever I need God's power shielding them, revealing Himself to them, and giving me strength to stay focused on the things mentioned in these four other bullets.

I don't look to continue this work schedule forever, but while I'm in it, I'm going to let it drive me to focus on making the most with the time that I have where I'm needed the most: at home.

My daughter, the Diva

So, I knew that my daughter was a bit of a diva, but now she's recruiting background vocalists.



BTW, they're singing along with a song from Disney's Camp Rock performed by the actress from the movie along with Beaker from the Muppets.

Home Alone

Tricia and the kids just left for our annual trip to Fairfield, Illinois to visit her Grandpa and some more of her mom's family. I can't go 'cause I have a little cold, and there'll be a 6 month old there with some pretty major health issues and sick people are banned. Bummer!!

I hate being home without Tricia. I'm just pretty useless. Even though I'm a fairly decent cook, I'll probably exist on grapes, granola bars and cold cereal. Maybe I'll throw Subway in there, too.

Taking a Trip

I'm excited about this weekend. Tricia and the kids and I are going to spend the Labor Day weekend with some friends that we've met recently and grown to love already: Glen and Sally Blumer. They live just south of Des Moines in Norwalk, Iowa. I've only been to Iowa once and that was just traveling up the western side on a trip from Louisiana to Montana. Can't say that I remember much about the state.

I guess the main thing I know about Iowa is how much fun I've had teasing Dave Ritter about how bad the Hawkeyes have been in football the last few years.

Glen and Sally are cyclists like Tricia and myself are, so I'm on my way to buy a bike rack that will go on the back of my minivan. Turns out it's hard to find a 4-bike carrier that attaches to the trunk/rear door instead of requiring a hitch receiver. But I found one almost by accident at Dave's Bikes in Joliet. Hope it's a good one...I'll let you know.

So any more cyclists out there? Where is your favorite place to ride?

My Plans or God's Plans

I find it hard at times to know when something is what God wants and when it is just what I want. One of the hardest decisions I've had to make recently came down to this. For almost a year, I've believed that my next step in ministry was to be a church planter. But for now, Tricia and I do not believe that is what God is calling us to do. The desire is there, but we don't want to be anywhere that God is not directing us to be.

For many reasons, I guess, becoming a church planter seemed like the obvious move for us. But as I read books, blogs and articles; as I listened to podcasts about church planting, the one thing (the only thing!) they all agreed on was this: Do not plant a church unless you are 100% sure that God has called you to plant the church. After much honest discussion and evaluation, Tricia and I don't believe that we have been so called. Yet! I still hope that this is in my future. I get pretty stoked at the thought of it.

So what does this mean for our family's immediate future... I'm so glad you asked.

• It means that we are planning to stay in Morris for the next 8 months or so. The kids have started school here and we'd rather not take them out. Tricia has also started her school year (teaching) and would like to be able to finish the school year if at all possible. So if you're in Morris, you might see us around.
• It means that I have to get job! Sticking around means certain bills have to be paid, but I'm not going to jump into a local ministry position just for a paycheck. I definitely want to be in my next ministry position for several years at least. In the mean time, I'll find something to do in the surrounding area. (This would be a good time to call with an offer!!!!)
• It means that we'll be plugging into a local church (local meaning with 30-45 minutes). Even if my job isn't to be a pastor currently, I'm still called (as each of you are) to plug into a local gathering of Christ-followers and use my gifts to help that church accomplish the Jesus Mission. We've visited a few churches...we may visit a few more, but one has become a likely choice.

Of course we still have lots of questions about what the future holds and we're on our knees, asking God to show us where He wants us, but we are confident that right now we are being faithful. God hasn't shown us what is coming next, so right now we will listen for His voice and follow Him however He leads us. More than anything else we want to follow His plan, no matter what that does to our plans.